It’s 4am in the morning and I can’t get back to sleep.
I actually woke up at 2am but stayed in bed, trying to doze off to slumberland again until my tummy grumbled in hunger (last time I ate was at 4:30pm the previous day) so I got up to have a snack. Since my baby bump is getting bigger, there’s not much space in my stomach for food so eating can be tricky sometimes. My tummy is happier now but my mind is still awake, so I thought I do some creative writing.
One of the joys I’m experiencing while being pregnant.
It’s amazing what the body does preparing me for when the baby arrives. Like clockwork, I have to get up almost every hour to go to the bathroom and every 4 hour rotation, I am wide awake! Must be training me for the nightly feeds I hear so much about.
Apart from feeling like I’ve just swallowed a watermelon and I’m waddling like a duck with each passing day, it’s not all that bad I guess...I am growing a little miracle inside of me after all and have learned a lot about myself during these 8+ months, which I wanted to share.
Ps: A little warning; this blog is a little more heart-felt than usual and may be a little “woo-woo” for some people so just be prepared if you haven’t really seen this side of me that’s more spiritual. I’m putting it down to my pregnancy hormones!
1. I’ve learned to set better boundaries for myself
Making a baby takes up a lot of energy!
Not just the physical, but also the whole colourful array of emotional, mental and spiritual energy. I’ve learned to create better boundaries, protecting my energy and preventing any energy leaks so I can stay happy, alert, calm and enjoying this baby growing inside of me.
Decisions like starting work later in the day so I can sleep in a little more to catch up on my rest, or to say no to media request or interview that doesn’t light me up.
Of course, it’s not always easy but being pregnant has definitely made me more aware of the need to protect my energy so I can continue to be loving, kind and caring to the people that matter to me most, including myself.
2. I’m taking better care of myself
I am aware most women like myself put other people’s needs first before their own but that usually comes with a price.
Being pregnant forced me to take better care of myself so I can take better care of my baby growing inside of me.
I’m making better eating choices, having regular healing massages, not putting too much strain on my back with heavy loads, having daily self-massages (lathering lots of oil and cream to avoid any stretch marks...you can call it vanity but I call it self-love, centering myself and connecting with my baby after a long day at work and avoiding stretch marks is a HUGE BONUS!)
3. I don’t sweat the small stuff as much
Like waking up in the middle of the night and being frustrated with myself because I can’t go back to bed. I find the harder I try only makes things worse, so I just have to honour my body and do other things to distract me like listening to some meditation music, watching funny trailers, reading a book or just write. Whatever I can do to clear my head so I can doze off again.
4. I’m allowing myself to be more creative
Spiritual teachings and ancestral stories talk about how the womb is the centre of creation. I believe it’s true as it’s a place where nature creates a new human being in all it’s spectacular intricate design and personality. I have read that when the womb is happy, creativity flourishes.
I have definitely found myself being less patient with things or activities that do not truly make my heart sing or are aligned with my values and beliefs. I am being open to new ideas or maybe being more convicted in things that matter more to me.
For one, I have found myself drawn to cooking healthy foods and gardening a vegetable garden patch. Maybe it’s the idea that I’m bringing a child into this world and I want to make sure he’s nourished well and have the best start to life in all sense. I’m stocking up on healthy cook books and learning about eco-farming which I never thought I would do. I have always said I was never a domestic goddess type so we’ll see how long this feeling last.
Secondly, I’m drawn to further my studies in Ayurvedic philosophies when it comes to diet and lifestyle. I’m inspired by my holistic O&G and she incorporates Ayurvedic medicine in pregnancy care. There is so much more to learn about alternative medicine and I look forward to sharing my new knowledge with you mixed in with modern science as I normally like to do.
5. Going with the flow
I’ve heard many women before me say “Your body no longer becomes your own when you become pregnant and become a mother.”
How true that is.
For someone who used to have an eating disorder, was a fitness freak and a recovering perfectionist, I thought I was going to struggle going through the changes. I was worried I would follow my mother who gained a lot of weight (or water retention), had terrible stretch marks and varicose veins from her pregnancy, but then again she did have 5 children!
But I was worried for nothing.
Every woman is different and it seems like I’m the type where it’s not easy to see that I am pregnant unless I stand up and turn to the side. It’s all baby in my belly at the moment and it’s really protruding forwards. “A neat bump” as they call it.
Maybe it’s because I’m expecting a boy (old wives tale). Maybe it’s because my body shape is the athletic straight frame type. Not too sure. All I can be sure of is I’ve been careful with my eating, read some non-scary baby books, continue working with some amazing practitioners and therapist who have helped me embrace this part of my life in an exciting and less-daunting way.
I’m no earth-mother but I’m actually looking forward to go through labour (it’s weird saying that as I hate pain!) because in a funny way, I’ve come this far with my little baby and I feel I should honour this first journey together as mother and newborn before our next adventures together.
Of course, I still get the occasional freak-out moment “OMG! How is he going to come out of that?!” I would be lying to you if I didn’t admit feeling scared at times.
But with things that I cannot control, I just have to:
- Trust I’ve done the best I can with what I know to prepare
- Trust my body knows what to do as how Mother Nature knows best
- Trust there are people around me that will support and help me through this
- Trust my baby will be safe and healthy
- Trust I will be safe and healthy
- Trust all things come in good time and everything happens for a reason
And lastly, just go with the flow and enjoy the process.
Now to get some beauty sleep while I still can before the sun comes out.
Thank you for reading.
Dr Terry x